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  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Preparedness
    • Where to begin
    • Bug-Out Bags
    • Basic Disaster Supplies
    • Car Preparedness
    • Medical Issues >
      • Medical Supplies
      • Health Preparedness
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    • Water Storage
    • Long Term Food Storage >
      • Food Shelf Life
      • Stocking Up
      • Food Preservation
      • How to Store Food
      • Where to Store Food
  • Survival
    • Cooking without Electricity
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    • Personal Hygiene
    • Security
    • Outdoor Survival
    • Starting a Fire
  • RESOURCES
  • SHOP
    • Books
    • Cooking Supplies
    • Emergency Kits
    • Food & Water Storage
    • Food Preserving
    • Sanitation
    • Medical Supplies
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​"Because Survival is insufficent."
- Star Trek Voyager, Episode 122

Living with a Non-Prepper

1/28/2019

3 Comments

 

(AKA: When your Significant Other
​Just Doesn't Understand)

PictureAndrea & her super cool husband, Thomas

 

  For many of us who have embraced the prepper lifestyle, especially those of us with a liberal point of view, the focus on preparedness is a lonely endeavor. If you are lucky, there are a few other like-minded prepper nerds in your neighborhood or town who share your (completely sane) interest. Even if you are involved with a local preparedness group, however, if your partner (spouse, parent or roommate) is not similarly drawn to discussing the finer points of harvesting rainwater or the potential pitfalls of long-term food storage, then you're in a bit of a pickle.
Aside from the hilarious references to your whacky “survivalist hoarder hobby” and the less-than-hidden eye rolling that occurs when you bring up for the 10th time the benefits of investing in a back-up generator and satellite phones, there’s the general disregard for how much good you’re doing the whole family by learning to grind wheat, make cheese, ferment kombucha, raise Mason bees and by carrying a go-bag and fully stocked first aid kit in the trunk (of both cars), at all times (“Yes, the trunk is full. The grocery bags go in the back seat. What do you mean? There’s plenty of room!”).
And then there’s the cost. Embrace the “hobby” designation for your prepping and you will at least have a leg to stand on. Most hobbies cost something: Knitters - you know that yarn ain’t free! Quilting certainly adds up – I believe that my mother owns more than a dozen sewing machines and they all do something different. I am lucky because my husband is a collector. He doesn’t collect art, baseball cards or motorcycles. No, dear readers, my hunky spouse is a 100% Star Wars Nerd, and he collects action figures and Legos. SO MANY Legos. Some of the sets took more than 24 hours to put together.​​
Picture
Thomas playing with his friends
They take up the whole basement, and have spilled onto the main floor. But, in truth, I am thankful to be married to an toy fanatic who stops at every Walmart he passes on family car trips if there is a new figure or Lego set  that has just released. “That’s OK, honey. Go head. By the way, I need to update our first aid kit. My Israeli pressure dressings and QuickClot sponges have expired.” In trade for giving up the entire basement and part of the upstairs office, I have leverage. Still no rainwater cistern or solar panels yet, but I’m lobbying for them: So smart for the environment, right? I will gradually wear him down… I realize that I am super lucky to have this quid-pro-quo thing going on with by darling man-child husband, and that not all of us are so lucky.
Picture
Andrea & Thomas after IRONMAN Santa Rosa, 2018
 Here are some ideas for negotiating your prepping “hobby” with your less-than-fully-understanding spouse/partner/roommate:
 
BE SUBTLE
 
I want to learn to use a crossbow. I’m a vegetarian and I don’t want to go hunting. Straight up, between you and me, I’ve seen waaaaaaay too many episodes of The Walking Dead. Daryl Dixon is a badass and has saved himself and his friends a bazillion times killing zombies and scaring humans with that thing. Quietly. SO – a woman-sized crossbow and arrows for said crossbow have been sitting on my Amazon wish list for…going on 4 years, now. 
I have spread the rumor that I’d like to take up the sport of archery. I guess nobody is buying it (literally or figuratively). I will wait. 

MAKE FRIENDS WITH PREPPERS

Hopefully your spouse/partner has many amazing qualities. Subscribing fully to the preparedness lifestyle may not be one of them, however. Don’t bore your honey to tears (or cause them concern about your sanity) by forcing them to watch I am Legend again and again, or by dragging them to the clearance sale on hunting knives at Cabela’s despite the fact that that place is packed to the brim with MAGA hat-wearing Brett Kavanaugh supporters. These are activities and outings you should enjoy with your prepper friends, or by yourself. If there aren’t any local preparedness groups, join one online. For the liberal preppers like yours truly there are several Facebook groups that are welcoming, including “The Liberal Prepper,” "Liberal Preppers," and "Prepping for Liberals" (sense the theme?) ​In my town there’s also an emergency preparedness group that meets live and in person. It’s pretty sweet.
SAVE YOUR PENNIES
 
I know. I KNOW. The new Garmin two-way texting satellite communicator device is SO fucking cool. It has 100% global satellite coverage, will hold a charge for 30 days in the 30-minute interval power save mode, and for up to 3 years when powered off. What?????? But…it costs $300 to almost $500 dollars, depending on the bells & whistles. I will wait.
Picture
  • Make a list of prepping supplies you’d like to accumulate, and set priorities. The basic supplies (food and water) can be built up gradually, with an extra small purchase or two with each trip to the grocery store.

  • Watch for sales and clearance items. Check out discount stores like Sierra Trading Post and websites like Overstock.com.

  • Make dual-use purchases. A lot of prepper stuff is basically camping equipment: Tents, sleeping bags, barbecue grills, matches, lighters, lanterns, firewood, outdoor cooking equipment. No need for redundant supplies – if you have the stuff, use it! 
​The long and short of it is, you and your spouse/partner love each other and chose to be together despite (or because of) all of your different interests, talents and quirks. Be honest. Be thoughtful. Be frugal. Be prepared. It will work out.
3 Comments
Jonathan DeJong link
1/29/2019 03:51:40 am

Unfortunately solar panels arent really good for the environment (mining for rare earth metals and the fuel needed to make them). But I have them and battery back ups too. Sometimes it’s just about self-sufficiency..... they are awesome.

I was a certified archery coach. Love the sport. If you want any info, I’d be happy to help, so you don’t throw money down a hole.

Just think, if you are ever confronted by an intruder you could just throw Lego figures on the floor! Instant domestic Land Mines!

Yes Darrel is a bad ass, but don’t believe everything you see about his crossbow.

There is no restriction on political/social points of view when it comes to prepping. Honestly, it’s the stereotypical Prepper that scares the wlllies out of me. Our current “news” cycles make me want to buy rice and beans on a scale that eclipses your husband’s Star Wars binges.

Reply
Andrea link
1/29/2019 09:19:30 pm

Hi Jonathon

Thanks for the head's up on solar panels and archery. I really do want to learn -- I'll have to check if/when our local Sportsman's Club has archery time.

I totally admit that >>75% of the reason I'm prepping is that I want to feel secure about SOMETHING in this freakin' crazy world we're living in. It's putting the anxiety to good use! We can all hang on to this life raft together.

Reply
Deborah Kuralt
4/25/2020 05:14:34 pm

I so relate to this post. When I saw the news about Covid-19 coming out of China, I turned to my husband and said "This could be bad" and received the ever supportive eye roll. After the first confirmed case arrived here in the US, I did an inventory of preps and starting filling in the gaps with orders to Costco etc.,. At one point, my husband turned to me and said, "Debby, This isn't The Stand." He's not so snarky now since he is not wiping his butt with leaves. I always kept a supply of TP already and bought a bidet after I saw the panic when the first confirmed cases of community spread showed up in WA.

Side note: I am a patient of Viola's. I already knew I had come to the right place but it was confirmed when I found this blog.

Second side note: I met Norman Reedus several years ago at Comicon and my family got a picture with him. Darryl is our favorite character also.

Reply



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    Andrea is a mother, wife, doctor, triathlete & preparedness enthusiast.

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