Living with a Non-Prepper

(AKA: When your Significant Other
​Just Doesn't Understand)

Andrea & her super cool husband, Thomas

 

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  For many of us who have embraced the prepper lifestyle, especially those of us with a liberal point of view, the focus on preparedness is a lonely endeavor. If you are lucky, there are a few other like-minded prepper nerds in your neighborhood or town who share your (completely sane) interest. Even if you are involved with a local preparedness group, however, if your partner (spouse, parent or roommate) is not similarly drawn to discussing the finer points of harvesting rainwater or the potential pitfalls of long-term food storage, then you're in a bit of a pickle.

Aside from the hilarious references to your whacky “survivalist hoarder hobby” and the less-than-hidden eye rolling that occurs when you bring up for the 10th time the benefits of investing in a back-up generator and satellite phones, there’s the general disregard for how much good you’re doing the whole family by learning to grind wheat, make cheese, ferment kombucha, raise Mason bees and by carrying a go-bag and fully stocked first aid kit in the trunk (of both cars), at all times (“Yes, the trunk is full. The grocery bags go in the back seat. What do you mean? There’s plenty of room!”).

And then there’s the cost. Embrace the “hobby” designation for your prepping and you will at least have a leg to stand on. Most hobbies cost something: Knitters - you know that yarn ain’t free! Quilting certainly adds up – I believe that my mother owns more than a dozen sewing machines and they all do something different. I am lucky because my husband is a collector. He doesn’t collect art, baseball cards or motorcycles. No, dear readers, my hunky spouse is a 100% Star Wars Nerd, and he collects action figures and Legos. SO MANY Legos. Some of the sets took more than 24 hours to put together.​​

Thomas playing with his friends

They take up the whole basement, and have spilled onto the main floor. But, in truth, I am thankful to be married to an toy fanatic who stops at every Walmart he passes on family car trips if there is a new figure or Lego set  that has just released. “That’s OK, honey. Go head. By the way, I need to update our first aid kit. My Israeli pressure dressings and QuickClot sponges have expired.” In trade for giving up the entire basement and part of the upstairs office, I have leverage. Still no rainwater cistern or solar panels yet, but I’m lobbying for them: So smart for the environment, right? I will gradually wear him down… I realize that I am super lucky to have this quid-pro-quo thing going on with by darling man-child husband, and that not all of us are so lucky.

Andrea & Thomas after IRONMAN Santa Rosa, 2018

 Here are some ideas for negotiating your prepping “hobby” with your less-than-fully-understanding spouse/partner/roommate:
 
BE SUBTLE
 
I want to learn to use a crossbow. I’m a vegetarian and I don’t want to go hunting. Straight up, between you and me, I’ve seen waaaaaaay too many episodes of The Walking Dead. Daryl Dixon is a badass and has saved himself and his friends a bazillion times killing zombies and scaring humans with that thing. Quietly. SO – a woman-sized crossbow and arrows for said crossbow have been sitting on my Amazon wish list for…going on 4 years, now. 

I have spread the rumor that I’d like to take up the sport of archery. I guess nobody is buying it (literally or figuratively). I will wait. 

MAKE FRIENDS WITH PREPPERS

Hopefully your spouse/partner has many amazing qualities. Subscribing fully to the preparedness lifestyle may not be one of them, however. Don’t bore your honey to tears (or cause them concern about your sanity) by forcing them to watch I am Legend again and again, or by dragging them to the clearance sale on hunting knives at Cabela’s despite the fact that that place is packed to the brim with MAGA hat-wearing Brett Kavanaugh supporters. These are activities and outings you should enjoy with your prepper friends, or by yourself. If there aren’t any local preparedness groups, join one online. For the liberal preppers like yours truly there are several Facebook groups that are welcoming, including “The Liberal Prepper,” "Liberal Preppers," and "Prepping for Liberals" (sense the theme?) ​In my town there’s also an emergency preparedness group that meets live and in person. It’s pretty sweet.

SAVE YOUR PENNIES
 
I know. I KNOW. The new Garmin two-way texting satellite communicator device is SO fucking cool. It has 100% global satellite coverage, will hold a charge for 30 days in the 30-minute interval power save mode, and for up to 3 years when powered off. What?????? But…it costs $300 to almost $500 dollars, depending on the bells & whistles. I will wait.

• Make a list of prepping supplies you’d like to accumulate, and set priorities. The basic supplies (food and water) can be built up gradually, with an extra small purchase or two with each trip to the grocery store.

• Watch for sales and clearance items. Check out discount stores like Sierra Trading Post and websites like Overstock.com.

• Make dual-use purchases. A lot of prepper stuff is basically camping equipment: Tents, sleeping bags, barbecue grills, matches, lighters, lanterns, firewood, outdoor cooking equipment. No need for redundant supplies – if you have the stuff, use it! 

​The long and short of it is, you and your spouse/partner love each other and chose to be together despite (or because of) all of your different interests, talents and quirks. Be honest. Be thoughtful. Be frugal. Be prepared. It will work out.